I feel if I could touch my heart, my hand would come away bleedingA mighty claw hooked free that core of poison given as medicineBy ones who would have loved me if they couldIt did not want to come free so much so that I could not tellWhether I clung to it or it to … Continue reading Ursa Major
Category: Psych
On Sinking Back in Service of Flourishing
I've been thinking a lot about growth and growing in this season of our lives... We are in a time that involves many stressors, adverse conditions that reduce our access to the things that nourish us: relationships, physical contact with other living things/people, genuine leisure time, a sense of basic safety in our environment and … Continue reading On Sinking Back in Service of Flourishing
After Image
I have been haunted by the impression of an image (because aphantasia, etc)... In this unseen image, I am watching myself from behind as I ascend towards something, and just as I come to it I stop, stepping back and turning away. It always felt to me like falling-- falling short, falling down, falling away … Continue reading After Image
Coming into the body, an invitation
I've been doing quite a bit of embodiment work these last few years, and have really increasingly done so since the advent of COVID, with it's free floating impact on so much around me. As with many people with complex and developmental trauma histories, I historically dissociate from my bodily experiences except when they are … Continue reading Coming into the body, an invitation
Pain as language, and other conversations
Thoughts tonight on learning the language of the body as a person with chronic pain and autoimmune issues arising from childhood adversity: The body doesn't have thoughts, it has sensations. The thing is, emotions are these complex things that often really start with sensations in the body to which we ascribe meaning, and many of … Continue reading Pain as language, and other conversations
Wholeness
This morning I had an appointment, and I had to sit in my car for about 30 minutes beforehand. There was this tree outside the office of the kind I think the Victorians would call picturesque. It would fit right in with the florid writing of a gothic horror set on the "blasted moors." And … Continue reading Wholeness
Part I: Trauma as Nexus
Trauma is not one thing; it is a mass of definitions overlaid on the experiences- some acute, some chronic, many both- of real people, whether as individuals, groups, communities, or cultures. In thinking through that list, there is an important subtext: we are all individuals who are part of multiple groups, communities, and cultures, and … Continue reading Part I: Trauma as Nexus
A Meditation on Grief; an Invitation to Vigil
Photo taken by AN Gorniak, March 30th, 2020 I cannot, of course, speak for anyone other than me. We each have our own prism of self through which our inner and outer experiences refract to create a unique shape in the world. And like a suncatcher in the window or a bottle in the ocean, … Continue reading A Meditation on Grief; an Invitation to Vigil
Giving Freely
Lilies draw in oxygen down their long stems into the depths of the water through a network of plants that share space, moving oxygen from young new plants through to older, tattered lilies. This cycle of breath from one to the next, feeding all along the way, is perhaps one way to think of how … Continue reading Giving Freely
On Being a Cog
Often we look at what is going on around us and we get overwhelmed at these huge systems that need so much fixing. We tend to take a stance in our language as though they are broken machines on a table in front of us needing to be fixed, or else these engulfing mechanisms in … Continue reading On Being a Cog